Wednesday, January 28, 2009

TODAY

Today is Alec's 14th birthday. Boy time goes by fast.

Thursday the 15th, I went for a glucose screening test. I failed. But not by much, one number was only 1 over and the other was only 2 or 3 over. So, I technically have a diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes. I went to the doctor today and he said that all of the stress that I went through could have been a factor, but we will keep an eye on it. I will have to test my blood 4 times a day and see if things stay in a good range. But on the bright side - I will get another ultrasound to see my baby. The doctor also thinks April 8 is a doable day for delivery. So that is only 10 weeks from today.

Oh, and I lost another pound. I had gained 3.75 lbs and have now lost 1.50 lbs. I am up 2.25 lbs right now. So, I think I am going to come out of this weighing less than when I went in. AND NO - I AM NOT TRYING TO LOSE. I just can't eat too much, I get full really fast. The doctor isn't worried because of my size when I got pregnant, I had some to spare. So, everything looks good. She had a heartbeat of 150 today. It was good and strong.

On another note, a friend of mine lost her baby. She was about a month behind me and when she went to her appointment, they found that her heart had stopped beating. She has to go in today and deliver her daughter, who passed away at about 5.5 to 6 months gestation. Please keep her in your prayers. I can't even imagine what she is going through. I am so thankful everytime I feel my little one kick.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It is starting to sink in.....I think....

Wow, tomorrow will be 10 weeks until our little one comes along. That means about 12 weeks until we move cross country. We have already secured a place to live. That takes a big load off my mind. I know that we will have a roof over our heads. We have started selling some stuff that we don't plan to take with us. We have a lot more to go through. I have started going through tubs of stuff in the attic and weeding out anything that isn't absolutely necessary to take with us.
I called a lady from church that I am close to and explained to her what we were going to be doing. That was hard. She is so close to my family, but luckily she was very understanding. She did make it a little easier for me to tell her. I told another close friend, and she almost started crying. That was hard. She said she was trying not to, because she knew that would make it harder for me. She was right, I almost started crying. But these people are the ones in my life that I really connect with and it is going to be hard to leave them. That is the hardest part of leaving ~ my friends, and my church family. I really love them and saying good bye is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. When I moved to Michigan 23 years ago, it was easier because I only had one friend and my family. My family will always be my family and we connect when we need to. Friends are the hardest because it is easy to grow apart when you don't see each other. I will be giving everyone my blog address before we go - so that we can keep in touch through this as well as email, phone and any other means possible. I don't want to lose my friends.

I still have a lot more people to tell. My husband on the other hand has been telling everyone. I have told some other friends and they are being pretty supportive. It will still be hard.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

My newest development

Okay, so it is 4 in the morning and I am awake. Yesterday and the day before I woke up at 5. I don't mind getting up early but this is not fun. I get so tired during the day. Yesterday I tried to take a nap but couldn't sleep because I could hear everyone in the house. I think it is because my husband is not working. Before he would get up around 4 or 5. Then I would have the bed to myself and be able to sleep - not because I move a lot or need the whole bed. I sleep in one spot. More, I think because he moves a lot. He wakes me up all night long - not on purpose - he just does. Every time he touches me to put his arm around me, or bumps me when he is turning over, I wake up. You see, confession time here, I like to sleep alone. I sleep so much better by myself. Him, he is the opposite. He loves to have me next to him. He says he sleeps better. How do we solve this development? I really don't know. Until I figure something out - I guess, I will try to take naps when I can - alone. But of course, that is always easier said than done. Maybe part of it is that I am overly sensitive right now with being pregnant. Of course, I don't think I will be sleeping any sounder once the baby comes. It is a mom thing. I hear every sound the baby makes. I was just getting to the point where I could sleep good at night and not hear every sound the kids made. Being teenagers the boys stay up later than me half the time.
Well, I am going to go lay back down and see if I might fall back to sleep. Otherwise, I might fall asleep during church and that would be embarassing.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Man is it cold out there....

Good afternoon! It is a lovely crisp 12 degrees out today! Eww, I do not like cold weather. The prettiness of the snow has worn off. So there is nothing appealing to me right now. I am getting accustomed to the idea of moving. It still seems so far off, but yet it is only 3 months away. I know that being pregnant this time will drag, and being the coldest months of the year, this time will drag. But with so much to do - I think it is going to go by fast and I am going to have trouble getting everything done that I need to.

LOL Did that even make sense? I have started packing some of the stuff that we are taking that we don't use every day. I am going through and sorting out a lot of stuff that we are not taking with. I have thrown away a lot of stuff already. I have a couple of boxes of stuff that I am going to try to sell, and then some other stuff that I am just giving away. Selling stuff is turning out to be difficult, because everyone around this area is having just as tough of a time as we are - financially.

The kids are excited about moving. People are starting to find out more now. I know that it is inevitable but it is so hard to tell people. I had a couple people from church ask me if it were true. I it is so hard to tell them that it is. I am going to miss my church family. I know I will keep in touch as much as possible, since it is the electronic age and most people have email now.

We found a place to rent and they are willing to hold it rent free for two months. We will start renting in April. It is a 4 bedroom modular house, but it is on property not in a trailer park. It is going to be so much smaller than what we are used to. It will be all on one level though and I think the boys will like that more. The boys will have 2 bedrooms to divide between the 3 of them. They can figure out how to make it work. They think they want to use one for a bedroom to sleep in and the other for their own living room. Saira will have a bedroom by herself until the baby gets bigger and moves in with her. Of course, Marty and I will have the master bedroom. And yeah!!!!! there will be 2 bathrooms again. That will be the best part. We have had only one for the last 2 years, and while that was doable - it will be nice to not have to wait or to have to go downstairs in the middle of the night to go potty. ( of course, I am the only one that gets up in the middle of the night - and not just because I am pregnant. I always get up in the middle of the night to go. It is just 2 or 3 times now instead of once.)

I think Rolex is going to have a hard time adjusting to the heat. With Marty being off work right now, he is feeding that poor dog so much that he is putting on a lot of weight. Hopefully, he will lose weight when we get down there, but I doubt that can happen until Marty goes back to work.

Speaking of work, Marty applied for his unemployment and calls in next week to get his first check. I hear that it is $360 a week max. I set it up for them to take taxes out because I didn't want to get in a bind next year at income tax time. So, I don't know how much we actually get. I know it is going to be hard to live on when he used to bring home quite a bit more than that. We will do what we can and keep our faith and keep praying that God will provide. We are getting his 401k and will pay 6 months rent in advance. That way it will give him time to find a job. Hopefully and prayerfully he will find a job that pays well enough for us to live on. Otherwise, I may have to go to work too. I still plan on homeschooling the boys. I am not sure about Saira, though. I have been looking into Montessori schools. I know that they could help her with her speech and her dyslexia. So, I am still praying about what the right choice is for her. Hopefully, Justin will take his GED before we leave Michigan and graduate. In Michigan you can do that at 16, but in New Mexico you can do that until 18. It would be nice if he were done with school before we leave.

My mom and dad are excited for us to be moving near them. They are glad that they aren't going to miss out on this baby growing up.

I guess I should get busy. I will probably start updating this a little more regularly now - and especially after we move. I think this will be a great way to keep in touch with everyone.

Hmm, I think I will get around to cutting the boys hair tonight. They need it.

God Bless,
Kathi

Saturday, January 17, 2009

I wanted to share this poem...

My best friend from high school sent this poem to me when I was pregnant. We found out that my son was going to be born with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus. That was almost 17 years ago! This poem is so true....it isn't bad - just different than you expected. I wouldn't change a thing, because Justin's disability has made him who he is, and in turn made us who we are. Please enjoy.


Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this…

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!" you say. "What do you mean, Holland?" I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to some horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy a new guidebook. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills, Holland has tulips, Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

The pain of that will never, ever, go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Written by Emily Perl Kingsley


God Bless,
Kathi

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Update

We made it home. Justin is recovering from having 2 surgeries in the last week. He got his shunt put back in on Monday. We came home on Tuesday. It is good to be home. I am so happy to have my family back together. I miss my kitty, though.

Marty and I have made some decisions. They weren't easy either. We will be moving to New Mexico. We will be going after the baby is born. The baby will be baptized on Easter Sunday.

I guess I don't feel like writing much right now.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Wow 2009 - what else?

I am almost afraid to ask that question. First - Justin ended up in the hospital for a week. It looks like he will be getting his shunt back in on Monday. yeah!! Second - My kitty had to be put to sleep. Now Third - Marty is getting laid off this week. His shop is slow.

Marty and I have been really trying to figure out what to do. The job situation in Michigan is horrible. We always talked about moving south after Marty retires. He asked me about going now. I told him that if he thought that was what we needed to do, I would be behind him. It is a hard decision to make though. I love my friends, my church family, and my house and yard.
But most of all I love God and if this is where He is leading us - who am I to question? The kids are excited to move - which surprised me. They have always been against it before when we talked about it. (and that was still 8 years in the future) To me that is a God thing. Why else would they have such sudden change of hearts?

So, we have started the process to see what we need to do to get everything organized to get this all started. We won't go until after the baby is born, because I don't want to change doctors mid pregnancy. I also don't want to travel in ice and snow being pregnant. I also want to have the baby baptized at 'our church' like the other kids were. No matter where we move, and no matter what other churches we may join and may love - New Community Fourth Reformed will always be our church!

So friends, our time together might be limited, but I want you all to know that you have all touched my heart and will forever have a place there!

Blessings,
Kathi

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Another vent ~ sorry......

Justin's doctor came in this morning and said that the soonest they would put his shunt back in is next Tuesday. I asked if there were an infection and he said not yet. Okay so why did you initially tell us 4-5 days? His reply - he must have been delirious. Uhh Gee thanks?!?! I am so irritated right now. I just want to be done with this and go home. I am 7 months pregnant and trying to sleep on some little cot like thing is not comfortable and I am not getting much sleep, let alone - no exercise. This just royally sucks. It was bad enough before, but now it is worse. On top of that, I can't quit thinking about my kitty.

Okay enough feeling sorry for myself. I just needed to get that off of my chest.
gotta go......

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Wow! I thought 2009 was going to be a pretty good year....

Well, when it rains, it pours! That is all I can say. As I type this, I am sitting in Detroit at Childrens Hospital. Justin's shunt was having issues. We got here on Monday and they ran tests all day long. We got in a room at 6:00pm. Tuesday they took him into surgery and removed the shunt and externalized it so that it drains on the outside of his head. Apparently, with all of the tests, it showed that he had a psuedo cyst at the end of his shunt tubing. The fluid that was there is typically there because of an infection. So, they drained that and are culturing it to see if anything grows. The first initial result showed no infection, but we still have to wait 3-4 days to see what the other ones do.
Then if that isn't bad enough, our cat has gotten very ill while we were away. So, my husband is taking her to have her put to sleep. I feel bad that I am not there. She was more my cat than anyone else's.
I know they say things happen for a reason, but seriously, I think I have had enough this week. I tell you my week has really sucked!
Of course, I keep looking to God and of course, I don't want her to suffer until I get home, but that doesn't make it any easier. I know that Saira is going to be heartbroken. Alec handles everything, but I know that it bothers him.
Well, here are few pictures that I actually have on my laptop of our kitty Omega - rest in peace.



Saturday, January 3, 2009

Whoops! It is 2009 now! Happy New Year!

Hi all! Well, I am heading to Detroit on Monday morning. Justin is pretty sure that his shunt isn't working. So, that is how we are starting the new year. Other than that, I have about 13 1/2 weeks left until our newest little bundle makes an appearance into the world. Yeah! I can't wait to hold her in my arms.
Marty goes back to work Monday after being off for 2 weeks. Hopefully he will find out soon if he is getting laid off or not. We have a lot of major decisions to make. I think that 2009 is going to be a year of changes for us. We will see. I have to get to bed so that I can go to church tomorrow. I am getting to the point in pregnancy where it is getting harder to sleep and yet I am always tired.
God Bless,
Kathi